A Pervert’s Gratitude
Translated by Mlzkzr
Edited by Mlzkzr
“Hermes-chan, a lifetime request ―― Ow! Ow, ow, ow, ow!”
I fed an umeboshi* to Orthia, who was praying at me with both hands together. (TN: It means ‘to rub knuckles against someone’s head to punish them’)
In a way, it’s a sad scene, as there’s no sense of sex appeal about the situation of me being alone with a popular prostitute in the brothel.
“How many, lifetimes, do you have”
I separate each word and increase the power of my umeboshi each time.
“It hurts, it hurts! Fi,fine! I usually give you service as much as I can, so please listen to me.”
“I’m saying it’s a matter of frequency.
It should be at least once a month.”
“Eh, once a week.
A request for a lifetime for once a week!”
“Three requests on me to make anything happen! Stop being like that!”
“It hurts, it hurts, it hurts”
More and more, I grinded her forehead quite hard.
Orthia struggles inside my arms.
I can smell the good scent from her head right in front of my face, and I can feel the warmth and softness of her body touching mine.
Every nerve that is directly connected to the lower half of my body are getting all itchy.
Geez, this girl…….
She was saying it’s her lifelong request, but it’s also a natural way to get us into a flirting flow.
It’s not like she’s a beautiful woman or anything, but I can see why she’s so popular.
So, what are you asking me”
“Err, that’s right, introduce a fat customer ―― It hurts, it hurts, it hurts! Wha,what are you doing”
Orthia looks up at me with tears in her eyes, real tears.
“Ah, no, I was just a little annoyed.”
“Stop doing this! Just hear me out up to the end! Or rather, it’s my nee-san”
“Nee-san You mean a prostitute”
“Yeah! Her name is Daphne.
Daphne-neesan, is the kind of person who’ll do anything for money.”
Orthia nodded clearly.
“For example, u○ko——”
“Stop! I don’t want to hear any more specifics than that.”
“Ah, no, I’ll show you what she can do, though”
“That anything isn’t subtle!”
I quipped as hard as I could.
I was surprised to see that she was much milder than I expected, even though she was willing to do anything for money.
“So, I want you to introduce me to some fat customers who’ll go along with her.
You see, Hermes-chan, aren’t you a nobleman even if you’re rotten”
“I’m not rotten, you know”
“Hey! It’s a request for a lifetime”
“Haa…… Well, I don’t particularly mind that.”
Without thinking about it, I nodded.
It’s not uncommon for nobles to introduce such things to each other.
Because aristocrats, often have political marriages.
Political marriages rarely produce affection, and they don’t allow the wife to do as she pleases.
Because it will lead to problems between the houses.
And above all, many nobles have strange sexual habits.
I don’t know why, but it’s very common.
“Hermes-chan is also an 『Orthia Mania』.”
“Shut up, don’t go into the voice of my head.”
“You’re wrong, you’re wrong, I quipped based on your face.
Since you had that look on your face.”
“What do you mean by my face!”
“Hermes-chan, it shows on your face far more than you think, y’know”
It’s rather normal for nobles to introduce each other to women they can love as they please because many of them have strange sexual habits.
This is my recent my boom.
It’s been mistakes so far.
Most of the time, though, if I dare to act badly, I will get the opposite result.
If I behave normally, it’s less likely that that will happen if I only do normal things.
I changed my plan.
“I understand, if I know any nobles, I’ll bring them over.
By the way, do you have any pictures or anything It would be easier to introduce her if there’s one”
I opened the window and threw the photo into the sky in a dynamic form.
“Yeah, yeah, as expected of your nee-san’s form, it’s quite nice”
“Don’t you dare escape reality for a moment.
Yes, this, is a spare, so take it properly.”
Orthia has another one ―― she pressed the same picture into my hand as before.
The prostitute named Daphne who would do anything for money ―― was a child.
To be frank, she was a kid who looked like she was just ten years old.
Moreover, she is quite cute.
She’s as cute as a doll.
“This is no good! This is a crime, isn’t this”
“I told you, she’s my nee-san.
She’s still an adult, you know”
“Look, she’s a half elf, and half dwarf.”
There are various races all over the world, and in a few rare cases, halflings are born.
One of them, if you are born half from a dwarf father and half from an elf mother, you will only grow to about 130 centimeters in your lifetime with the dwarf blood, and you will be extremely young and long-lived with the elf blood.
Her appearance will forever be like that of a human girl, and she will live a surprisingly long life.
“Daphne-neesan, is still over 100 years old.”
“Heh, is that so”
“Well, she’s only about ten years old in human age.”
“That’s why, it’s out!!”
Orthia turned to me, clasped her hands together, closed one eye and winked.
“Or rather, you’re not asking me.”
“Because, Hermes-chan, you like boobs so much that it’s unbelievable.”
“It’s not unbelievable! It’s unbelievable, because men like boobs! It’s the most normal!”
“No, it’s different”
Orthia raised her index finger and, tsk tsk, shook it.
“If you like boobs, it’s okay.
But instead, you 『unbelievably』 like boobs.”
“……Eh Isn’t that normal”
She shook her index finger again.
“You’re pulling you know, even though I’m a prostitute, you’re pulling.
After all, aristocrats tend to be a bit perverted, aren’t they”
I, I’m normal!
“It’s okay, since I, like Hermes-chan like that.”
“Rather than that, right.
I want you to introduce a person to Daphne-neesan who doesn’t want boobs.”
Orthia looks up at me with her hands clasped together.
I’m not fully satisfied, but it can’t be helped.
I left Orthia’s room and was about to leave the brothel.
I’ve been asked to do some things, and a lot of them are shocking.
Let’s just go home for today, is what I thought.
“You’re finished huh”
When I came down to the first floor of the store and went out to the lobby, I was talked to.
“Ah, you are――”
The king was there.
The king, whom I had just met the other day, was dressed in incognito.
“I understand that this one is an acquaintance of lord-sama.”
The man who worked in the store came over to me and said softly in my ear.
“Ah……we know each other.”
From the way the handmaid was talking, I could understand that the king had not given his true identity.
As an acquaintance of mine who is a nobleman, they should treat him in a certain way.
If they find out that this is the king, it won’t be like this.
I tried to listen to his story, but first, I was not sure what to call him.
“King …… san …………”
It’s the kind of alias that makes one wonders if he was trying to hide it or not.
It’s no good if I quip at him, so I endure it.
“Uhmm, King-san, you wanted to see me”
“I just wanted to say something to you.
Is that fine In front of Hestia-san, due to my father’s case, I have treated you with some respect, but don’t get me wrong.”
Is that what you came here to tell me
Then it’s okay, and I was a little relieved.
There was no way I could get carried away, and “misunderstand” my relationship with the king.
I want to live a “normal” life.
Viscount and King, I think I know what’s normal with that.
“Hey, hey, Hermes-chan, is this guy rich”
“Eh Ah, well……”
“He’s rich, right Since he knows Hermes-chan.”
I looked at King to see what he would do.
The King glared at me with a “What’s wrong” stern look on his face.
“Hey, introduce me to this guy.”
“Fuhn, that’s the story, huh, I don’t want it”
King brusquely declined her.
“I’m not interested in just any girl.” (TN: Looks like he’s the one)
Well, he’s the king after all.
Because of his position, he had a lot of women to choose from.
In the first place, he met Hestia the other day, and he was feeling obliged that she was his “father’s woman = mother”, but he wasn’t in a sexual excited-like state.
It was not even that Hestia, so Daphne would be impossible.
“Don’t say such a thing.
Hey you, call Daphne-neesan here”
At Orthia’s order, the handmaid ran to the back of the brothel in a panic.
“Fuhn, I don’t have time for this.”
“Well, whatever, I’m not interested in women, but I do have a question for you.
What kind of relationship do you have with Hestia-san, tell me more.”
Well, I knew it would be like this.
From the King’s point of view, it would be weird if he didn’t have a good grasp of the relationship between me and Hestia.
Now then, what do we do here.
“Ah, I’ll go with you, then.
I’ll be the one who’ll introduce you to ane-sama.”
“Alright, then prepare me a seat.”
Perhaps sensing the atmosphere of a high-class customer from his words, Orthia and the people in the brothel hurried into action.
I, on the other hand, was a little troubled.
Let’s swindle him in various ways.
Let’s take it out unskillfully and convince him.
When I thought so.
“Where is the customer who will become Daphne’s customer”
I heard the voice of a young girl.
Looking at the voice, I saw a girl about 10 years old appearing in a pretty dress.
Daphne, a prostitute, half dwarf and half elf.
As I thought, she’s a child when seeing her this way.
Even though she’s over 100 years old in real life, this is impossible.
After all, he hadn’t even responded to Hestia’s charm.
“……Good” (TN: A lolicon)
I thought I heard something dangerous, so I quickly turned to the side.
Then King, who had been making a sullen face earlier, was looking at Daphne with bloodshot eyes.
“Good, very good.
Her cheeks are puny, limbs are slender, and yet she has a certain sex appeal about her.”
King was instantly enamored with Daphne.
“Is that why he didn’t react to Hestia’s body odor (pheromones)…….”
“Is this the girl you said you’d introduce me to”
“Well, that’s right, but……”
“Thank you! I appreciate it! I’ll be sure to thank you for this!”
King said so, and took Daphne’s hand and went upstairs.
He chose to be alone with Daphne, completely ignoring the drinks and other things on the table I had prepared, for us to talk about her.
“Ahaha, as I thought, the aristocracy was full of perverts.”
Orthia said happily.
No, more than that.
“Bad…… this is bad……”
“Eh What’s wrong”
“That guy’s thank you …… is definitely bad.”
He’s the king…… I couldn’t really say that.
The king’s gratitude, is definitely conspicuous.
Sighing, my prediction came true.
Moreover, in a pretty bad way.
A prostitute’s mediation ―― even though it’s normal for aristocrats to talk about it, the king’s face is saying that he cannot profess it.
His scapegoat for this was the subjugation of the Slime Lord.
I got another cross medal for defeating the Slime Lord, the fourth one.
This time, the source was directly from the king himself, and it was under a super strict gag order not to ask any unnecessary questions.
Conjectures and speculations made the rumors explode.
Viscount Canoe brought something more than mithril to His Majesty.
Like that, a tremendous rumor had spread.